What you can do about Spiritual Bypassing?
Carl Jung says, "What you resist, persists." Spirituality can be messy. Many things happen to us that require more than positive thinking to heal, such as:
Grief or trauma
Being abused or neglected,
Being betrayed or bullied or,
Living with parents who had rage, mental illness, or substance abuse issues.
If you are facing your shadow self, there's a lot of dark messy stuff there, from rage to sadness, to betrayal, disgust, guilt, and shame, to name a few. While these feelings are uncomfortable, they are important to feel and acknowledge so you can move past them.
In Nick Ortner's, The Tapping Solution, many clients say they don't want to tap these negative things into their bodies. He responds that they are already in your body, you are just being honest about them being there. Only then can move past the negative feelings and events in your past.
I have bought into the belief that anger is not spiritual. As a child, I was the one who provoked the bear. My father had rage issues so by provoking him; I felt that I had some sort of control of WHEN he would explode. Preventing it from happening wasn't an option. Then once he would explode, I would do everything I could not to cry, no matter how much he hit or paddled me, I would not give him the satisfaction.
Another reason I had a lot of anger was because I was the first teen to develop in school. Many of the boys in my school would grab my breasts or vagina without my permission or they would "top" me by pinning me down on the ground and ripping off my shirt. Then the boys would throw my shirt on the roof. I was mortified when the janitor saw me without a shirt. He told the boys to get me my shirt but didn't say anything else to them about how wrong that was.
As an adult, I see the same sort of coping techniques that I've used for years, "You can't get to me" or "I do it myself" reigning king as my mantras. I can see how I push people away who get too close, dismiss compliments from people, or use my weight to make me feel protected and to be invisible. It's easy to hide and have food as a friend and comforter. These are all forms of spiritual bypassing. I have the right to be angry about what happened or when I see injustice in the world. How I go about it, however, determines if I am being truly authentic or spiritual or if I am just further numbing the pain.
When I worked with high-risk teens, they would frequently ask me how I got out of all of this pain. "The only way out is through." was always the answer. It would be great if there was a quick fix to get out of the pain. Our culture makes it easy to numb the pain with medications, drugs, alcohol, shopping, sex, living in the fast lane, endless to-do lists, and full calendars all the while racing from one place to the next.
There is a beautiful movie called "Collateral Beauty." It's an excellent example of what happens when we deny or turn away from our pain. It demonstrates how denying your pain hurts you and all the people around you. It shows how life keeps pushing you to face your fears, or as it's better known in AA, “hitting bottom,” and what it looks like to come out the other side: Better, stronger, and more authentic. When we look at the people we most admire, they are strong, authentic, compassionate, generous with their time and money, have strong boundaries, and are willing to speak the truth. It's scary to face our fears but it's totally worth it.
Anyone can do these things by themselves, but sometimes we like to practice with others like us. I am running Awakening Your Intuition Through the Clairs 2 class at AIMS on Wednesdays on the Loveland Campus from September 4th - October 9th on Wednesdays from 5:30 to 7:30. I will also have an Intro into Mediumship class running on Saturday, November 2nd and 9th from 9-11 AM. In Greeley, I am rerunning the Awakening Your Intuition Through the Clairs 1 from October 16th - November 20th. I will also be at the Belu Olisa Fair on September 28 & 29, 2024 from 10 am to 5 pm both days.
I would love it if you would share the things that have worked for you, being supportive of each other, and cheering each other on. Note: The comments section is at the bottom of this page.
Until next time,
Leanne Psychic Medium
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