Last week, I listened to Jessica Ortner’s Daily Inspiration. She talked about how we each have 86,400 seconds every day, and once they are gone, they are gone forever. You can’t save them or use them the next day. This made me wonder how I have been spending my 86,400 seconds each day.
I grew up being self-critical and practiced, “Shame yourself into shape.” I find myself lost in this trap frequently. I have found that this not only isn’t helpful, it frequently makes things worse. Berating myself for being not enough, only leads to more shame and more bad decisions. I remember seeing a movie called “What the Bleep.” It showed Dr. Masaru Emoto’s work on the consciousness of water. He showed how water's molecular structure transforms when exposed to human words, thoughts, sounds, and intentions. Love, Peace, and Gratitude turn into beautiful crystals. While anger, disgust, and hate turn it into this ugly, gross, cloudy water. Hmm. If I’m 60-70% water, wouldn’t these harsh words also affect the molecular structure of the water in my body?
Another thing that pushed me to start thinking about how I’ve been using my 86,400 seconds is the shooting at UNLV. I know someone who attends school there and was in the same building at the time of the shooting. Thoughts flooded my mind of what if they were the ones who were shot or killed? They have so much yet to do. What about their mom and sister? What would this do to them? It showed me how life can turn on a dime. Maybe today I started with 86,400 seconds but then something happens and I only got 43,185 today and then none tomorrow or the day after that or the day after that. It genuinely put things into perspective for me.
We all keep putting off important decisions until tomorrow. Do we stay in a relationship or job that no longer serves us? Do we put off our dreams for fear of being judged or others not understanding? Do we put off that apology (or forgiveness) for someone or something that happened years ago? Is our go-to getting a drink at night or binge-watching TV? Having done these things, I decided a few years ago to get into counseling to start facing my fears and owning my part of wasting my 86,400 seconds. I learned that it’s okay to be scared or to dread change. Others don’t have to understand or approve of my journey. “Sometimes the only option is the scary one. Sometimes…. the best thing in life is the thing that makes your heart race.”** If you’re doing life right, it will look different than everyone else. The people who have made the biggest contributions to our planet were all “out there” with their crazy ideas (lightbulbs, flying machines, computers, rocketing to the moon, Spanx).
I discovered two main things. The first seems counter-intuitive. My intuition told me that sending money to savings and my favorite charity every month would tell the universe that I had extra money to spare. Within a few months, things started changing for me financially, even though initially my income didn’t. What profoundly changed was my perspective. In other words, what you need more of in your life, you have to be willing to give it first, be it time, money, or love.
The second was to start writing in a Gratitude Journal. This was to help me start focusing on the things that were going right with my life, rather than just the problems. The assignment was to write three new things every day. They had to be specific, happened within the last 24 hours, and couldn’t repeat.
The first couple of days were easy. You can be grateful for many things like flowers, bunnies jumping in front of you, sunflowers blowing in the wind as you drive by, and a beautiful sunset. Then it got much harder so I had to dig deeper. I started writing things like I’m grateful for a friend checking in with me. I was able to jump-start a stranger’s car, I’m so glad that I got extra hours so I could pay for unexpected expenses this month, and I'm so proud of myself for expressing my feelings to my friend about her behavior in the restaurant. The hardest days for me are when I’m tired, mentally exhausted, cranky, feel like the world’s out to get me, or just plain bored. On those days, it’s much harder to find things that I’m grateful for. I call these my “gray” days. Finding positive things in my world can shift everything when I'm in this place. When that doesn’t work, looking back and seeing what I wrote in the past can remind me of how far I’ve come or a beautiful moment that touched my heart.
I’ve been working on this gratitude journal for well over a year now. I still have “grey days.” I still feel upset and disappointed. I choose not to stay there for long. Being grateful doesn’t mean that you don’t have “bad” days. There are still ugly, hateful, destructive things going on in the world. I’m not putting on rose-colored glasses and pretending that they aren’t. Although I was in a violent marriage, I learned a lot about myself and what behaviors I would tolerate. I’m grateful for the lessons that I learned from that experience.
The other wonderful thing that happened was that once I started to focus on the great things that happened, more great things started to happen. It was like the gratitude was building on itself. I got promoted, had a larger bank account, got the courage to set limits on bad behavior, and had more meaningful connections with the people in my world. I also started asking for what I wanted. I was shocked at how people were willing and eager to help. Even when things didn’t go the way I wanted, because I was in a better place to start with, it didn’t take so long to recover. It was more like a sign to make a different choice, rather than something to be upset about. When water is going downstream, there are lots of obstacles. Does it get upset, stomp its feet, or ask the Universe, "Why me?" or does it find another path to continue going downstream? Gratitude has helped me see that obstacles are the universe's way of saying: take a different path or look at the problem from a different (or higher) perspective.
It’s easy to get caught up in the habits of daily life. It’s easy to fill our calendars with obligations, work, or binge-watch TV. Being grateful helps us get in touch with our real selves- dreaming big, acting with integrity, and having fun. I’ve never had a session with a spirit who said, I wish I watched more TV, drank more, didn’t apologize because they started it, or followed my dreams even when they didn’t work out. However, I've spent time with tons of them who were filled with regret. Can you imagine a world without Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Beyonce, Queen Latifa, Steve Jobs, or Stevie Nicks? They all found the courage to be who they were destined to be and our lives are forever changed because of them. What if they chose to be small instead?
Each of us came to Earth for a purpose. Even if your “only” purpose is to be happy, wouldn’t that make the world a much better place? So my question to you is: What are you going to do with your 86,400 seconds? I hope you choose well.
While anyone can practice the Clairs by themselves, sometimes it helps to practice with others like us. I will run a Clairs Class at AIMS on Wednesdays from 5:30 to 7:00 on the Loveland Campus from January 24th - February 28th and on the Greeley Campus from April 3rd - May 8th, 2023. I will also be at the Belu Olisa 23rd Annual Spring Holistic Fair at the Ranch, on March 9 & 10, 2024 from 10 am to 5 pm, both days.
I would love it if you would share your comments and experiences with the group - things that have worked for you, being supportive of others, being brave enough to share your personal experiences, and cheering each other on.
Until next time…
Leanne Psychic Medium
** Tyler Hynes in Hallmark’s 'Falling For You'
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